


your heartbeat is a compass (and it's guiding me home)

by sapphicsapphire



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, M/M, Matt is an Idiot, Mutual Pining, Unrequited Love, but not really, foggy knows this and loves him anyways, marci and karen are trying to set them up, matt is just filled with catholic guilt, seriously, they're lawyers why aren't they smarter, too bad they're both dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 12:18:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19745635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphicsapphire/pseuds/sapphicsapphire
Summary: five times matt murdock thought foggy nelson's heart was racing because of someone else, and one time he realized who foggy's heart really beats for





	your heartbeat is a compass (and it's guiding me home)

**Author's Note:**

> mattfoggy is a good ship you guys are just fatphobic

“Matty, I know you can’t see the guy, but your spidey-sense has to be telling you how hot he is.”

Matt had to resist the urge to sigh. Foggy’s heart had been racing since Matt had picked him up ten minutes earlier. His friend had insisted upon getting coffee at an overpriced cafe instead of their usual hole in the wall on their way to work, purely because the barista was, in Foggy’s own words, a “hot piece of ass.” 

“First of all, I’m not Spiderman, and secondly, baristas aren’t my type.” He answered.  _ You’re my type _ . He added, silently. 

“This guy is  _ everyone’s _ type dude. He manages to look like the posterboy for men’s health wearing an apron.” 

Matt, acting on pure selfishness, pretended to stumble, holding on tighter to Foggy’s arm and moving close enough to smell the bagel Foggy had for breakfast on his breath. 

“Woah, you okay there buddy?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine.”  _ Lie _ . “Must have been an uneven bit of pavement.”  _ Lie.  _

“If you say so. Okay, the place is on your left, let me get the door for you.” 

Matt smiled thankfully and walked into the cafe, brushing his fingers against Foggy’s as he did so, a bolt of tenderness shooting through his arm. Instantly he was affronted with the smell of coffee beans, pricy hair gel and expensive cologne. He wrinkled his nose, feeling a headache blossom behind his eyes from the overwhelming scent of the place. 

“There he is.” Foggy whispered, taking Matt’s arm and directing him into the queue, his heart beating faster. “Think I should ask him to marry me?” 

“I thought you were married to your work, Mr. Nelson.” 

“I was until I saw that Thor doppelganger, Mr. Murdock.”

“Then by all means, ask for his hand. You’re a catch.”  _ Truth. _ “He’d be lucky to have you.”  _ Truth. _

In the end, Foggy didn’t even speak to the man, and Matt ordered for him, as well as buying Karen an apology doughnut for their tardiness. 

“I can never go back there.” Foggy groaned once they had left the cafe. “I’ve brought dishonour to my family.” 

Matt laughed, relieved. “I really thought you’d found your one true love there, Mulan.” 

By the time they reached the office, Foggy had moved on to talking about last night’s baseball game. But the accelerated heart rate remained.

* * *

It had been a week since Foggy’s brief infatuation with the barista, and while Matt knew it was too much to hope for Foggy to not be interested in someone, not to mention selfish, he still found himself wishing.

Unfortunately, temptation incarnate had waltzed into their offices one afternoon, seeking help with a discriminatory landlord. Her name was Elena Gonazalez, and she spoke Spanish, and only a few key phrases in English.

Karen was out of the office that day doing research for the Bulletin, and Foggy’s Spanish was an affront to nature, so Matt did all of the talking, translating for Foggy when necessary. Throughout the entire conversation, Foggy’s heart was beating so fast Matt was worried it would stop altogether. The sound was so distracting that Matt could hardly focus long enough to speak to their client in her language. 

The week they spent working on her case was torturous. Matt couldn’t even focus as  _ Daredevil _ , much less as unassuming blind lawyer Matthew Murdock. He started punching harder than he meant to, accidentally knocking people out, and in one case, giving a man the most severe concussion Claire had seen in her entire career. (“Are you okay, Matt?” She had asked. “Peachy.” He had told her, before jumping out of a third floor window.) Every night, without fail, he found himself on the rooftop of Foggy’s building, matching the pace of his friend’s breathing. 

He also wound up in confession far more than his usual weekly visit. He had told Father Lantom about many of the larger, more selfish touches, but rarely did he confess even his minute Foggy-related sins, such as touching his hand while taking a case file from him. Eventually, after five consecutive days of this, Father Lantom sat him down for a latte. 

“Matthew, I hope you know God loves all of His children. Even the gay ones. These things you’ve been telling me, they’re not confessions of sins. They’re confessions of love. And to love is not to sin. Do you understand me?”

Matt had nodded sheepishly. 

“Thank the Lord.” Father Lantom sighed. “Now ask the boy out, will you?” 

Matt had lain awake that night, thinking about Foggy, an event that was becoming all too common, and realized he really was in love with his best friend. He also realized that, despite Father Lantom’s advice, he could never do anything about it. Foggy was just too special to him. 

And if when Elena asked Matt, in Spanish, if Foggy was taken, and Matt told her yes, no one needed to know. And if when Elena’s case was closed and Matt arrived early to the office to the smell of flowers and ink, and removed a card bearing the words  _ Senor Foggy _ from the bouquet, then truly, no one needed to know. 

* * *

After the “Trial of Elena,” as Matt had started to call it in his head, he thought he could get through anything. He had, however, forgotten to factor in Miss Marci Stahl. 

Matt had heard the tell-tale sound of her six inch heels clicking along the sidewalk, and smelt her nauseating perfume as soon as she entered the building. Matt thumped his head onto his desk, knowing that Foggy would be smelling like her for the next few days. 

“Karen, my dear, is Foggy Bear in?” Marci asked as she swung their door open. 

“Marci, where the hell else would I be? It’s four in the afternoon on a Tuesday.” Foggy grumbled. The exasperation almost made Matt smile.

Marci sauntered into Foggy’s office and closed the door behind them. Matt sent a quick prayer to God that they weren’t going to start making out, because he would be able to hear every gross detail, and he wasn’t really up to facing that today.

“So, my darling Foggy, have you asked our friend out yet?” Oh. Foggy was planning on asking someone out. That’s nice. Was it getting hot in here, or was that just Matt? He took off his suit jacket and wrapped it around the back of his chair, before turning back to the case files in front of him, trying to block out Foggy and Marci’s voices. 

“Shut up, Marci!” Foggy’s heart was beating  _ wildly _ now. That’s fine. Whoever this person was, they were lucky to have Foggy. It was  _ definitely _ getting warm in the office. Matt rolled up his sleeves, and then placed his fingers back on the Braille in front of him. He knew it was intrusive to be listening, and he knew it was an extreme violation of privacy, but he couldn’t stop his ears from working. He almost wished he could. 

He heard Marci type something on her phone and hand it to Foggy, whose heart was managing to beat even faster than before. 

Foggy sighed. “Nothing can ever happen between us, alright? It’s not going to happen.” 

Matt heard the swishing of fabric, an  _ oomph _ of air from Foggy, and realized Marci had pulled Foggy into a hug. He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to suppress his jealousy.

“Oh honey, it’s going to be alright. I know so because I want you to stop pining, it is ridiculously pathetic. How about we go to Josie’s, drink ourselves under the table, and maybe you’ll get some pity sex afterwards, hm?” 

“Marci, it’s four o’clock.”

“So? It’s always happy hour somewhere darling.” 

Foggy sighed and began packing up. 

“Fine.”

Matt stayed at the office far too late, trying his damnedest not to think about Foggy, Marci, and Foggy’s mystery  crush.

* * *

A week had passed, and Matt hadn’t heard anything more about Foggy’s love life, something which he was probably too pleased about. Foggy was his best friend, if he was into someone, Matt should support him. But it would be so much easier to support his friend if Matt hadn’t been in love with him for over a decade. 

“Good morning Matt!” He heard Karen say, snapping him out of his cycle of self-pity.

“Is it?” He grumbled, rubbing his temples as if it would magically cure his hangover. 

“You look like shit.” He heard her walk into the threshold of his office, and lean against the divider, presumably crossing her arms and giving him an exasperated look.

“Do I? I wouldn’t know.” She definitely rolled her eyes at that. 

“What is it Matt? Girl trouble?” He shook his head, trying very, very hard not to laugh. 

“Something like that.”

Karen pushed off of the divider and walked towards Matt, plopping herself down on his desk. 

“Tell me about her.” 

“Fine.” He sighed, throwing the file he had been pretending to read onto his desk beside Karen. “She’s an old friend, someone I met in college. She’s, well, she’s beautiful, as far as I can tell. She's beautiful in all the ways that matter. I love the sound of her voice, the way she smells, the softness of her skin. But her friendship means the world to me, and I can’t lose her, Karen. I can’t lose her.”

“She sounds amazing, Matt. And very familiar.” He let out a chuckle. If he could see, he had a feeling Karen would be winking at him. “You should tell her. She might surprise you.”

Karen stood and walked to her own desk. Her heels clicked away from him, managing to sound as if even Karen’s shoes knew something Matt didn’t.

He made to reach towards his discarded file, but was distracted again as he heard Foggy’s heartbeat make its way up the stairwell. Foggy stopped outside the office door, his heart beating quickly. As he stood in the hallway, Matt soon realized his accelerated heart rate wasn’t due to the stairs. Foggy was nervous.

His friend finally opened the door, and Matt could smell Foggy’s new cologne, the perspiration on his palms. And… mouthwash? Now that was new. Why now? What had changed?

He heard Karen laugh at Foggy’s joke, and it hit him. What was it Foggy had told Marci?  _ Nothing can ever happen between us.  _ He thought nothing could come of his affections because his new crush was a colleague. A friend. 

Karen. Foggy was in love with Karen.

* * *

Matt entered the office with Karen on his arm, guiding him, and as soon as they entered the room, his heart sank. 

The reason being, of course, that as soon as they entered the office, Foggy’s heart rate had spiked. Matt still hadn’t gotten used to the new cologne. It masked the way Foggy naturally smelled, the way he had smelled since they first met. Like  _ home _ . He had started using conditioner as well. It was strange, to say the least. He had to rely on the beat of Foggy’s heart to find him, since he didn’t smell like himself, which meant Matt was forced to listen to his friend’s crush near constantly. 

He knew he should be happy, not just for Foggy but for Karen. They were a good match, and they’d be happy together. That’s all he wanted for them. Happiness. 

_ Then why does it hurt so much?  _ His mind whispered.  _ Then why does it feel like your whole world is collapsing around you? _

He broke away from Karen, making his way over to his office, and promptly collapsed in his chair. He had taken hundreds of beatings throughout his life, before and after he lost his sight. Before and after Daredevil. (Leave it to a Murdock to know how to take a punch.) But somehow, listening to Foggy pine after Karen was worse than any of the broken bones, concussions, even going  _ blind _ for Christ’s sake. He didn’t know what it was about this time that made it different than all the others. Maybe it was the workplace romance. Maybe the fact that it could be permanent. Maybe it was that he knew Foggy would settle down eventually, and give Mrs. Nelson all those grandchildren she so desperately wanted. He should be happy that it was Karen, happy that she would treat him the way he deserved, happy she wouldn’t break his heart. 

He was so busy wallowing in his own self-pity that he barely even registered Karen getting a call and leaving the office in a rush, saying something about Ellison and a lead. He did notice, however, that Foggy had stood up and gathered a bunch of files and papers, and was now standing in Matt’s office. 

“Hey Matty! Gotta get working on the Donaldson case, these opening statements ain’t gonna write themselves!”

“Objection!” Matt said, smiling, Foggy’s endless enthusiasm bringing some sunlight into his world on fire. 

“Objection overruled, you lazy bastard. There’s a reason my name is first on the sign, Murdock.” Foggy laughed, pulling up a chair and throwing a pile of paper onto Matt’s desk. 

“Yeah, there is. It’s because you speak Punjabi.” He said, throwing his friend a grin. Foggy just threw a pen at him. Matt caught it before it hit him in the face, causing him to grin even wider. 

“Show off.” Foggy muttered. Matt laughed. 

“I heard that.” 

“Of course you did, Deadpool.” 

“I’m not Deadpool.” 

“Right, of course, the Catholic guilt.” Foggy said, nodding solemnly. “My deepest apologies, Spiderman.” 

“Didn’t you make the long trek over here to work, not to attack my valiant heroism?”

“Is that what they’re calling it now? Last I heard, it was just called kinky.” 

“Asshole.” 

“Strong words coming from the man who wears tiny horns on his leather sex costume.” 

Matt picked up his Braille files, shaking his head and laughing. The doom and gloom had gone away, as it always did, with a single word from Foggy. Maybe he would be okay. Maybe they would be. They made it through Foggy finding Matt bleeding to death in the costume of a vigilante, after all. They could make it through Foggy falling in love. Just as long as Matt. Didn’t. Ask. About-

“So how’s your love life going?” 

_ I hate myself. _

“About as well as usual” Foggy sighed. 

“Is there someone you’re interested in?” Matt didn’t know why he was doing this to himself. 

“Yeah, but they’re pretty much off limits.”

“What? Why?”

“You caught me. I’m in love with Wilson Fisk.” Foggy said, putting his hands up in mock surrender. Matt shoved him playfully. 

“I’m serious, Fog. Who’s fooled you into thinking you’re not New York's most eligible bachelor?” That earned him a smack on the shoulder. 

“It’s nothing Matty, I promise. Nothing to worry about.” 

_ Screw this.  _ “Foggy, if you want to ask Karen out, it’s totally fine. I’m sure she’s into you too. I could hear your heartbeat whenever you’re around her-”

“Wait. Wait wait wait. What the hell are you talking about?”

“You and Karen. Which is totally fine by the way-” 

“Matt.” Foggy said slowly. “Do you think I have a thing for Karen?”

“Well yeah. Whenever you’re in the office your heart rate goes off the charts- What?” 

Foggy’s mouth was hanging open, seemingly in shock. 

“You can hear my heartbeat whenever we’re together, and you’ve convinced yourself I’m into  _ Karen _ ?”

Now it was Matt’s turn to be utterly confused. Foggy’s heartbeat didn’t lie, it was always quickened in the office, when the three of them went to Josie’s after work, and there was no one else in the office. Was something wrong with Foggy’s heart?

“I’m lost.” Foggy put his head in his hands and groaned. 

“You’re going to make me say it, aren’t you?” 

“Say what?” 

“Matt.” Foggy sighed. “Other than Karen, who else works in this office?” That didn’t help him at all. There wasn’t anyone else, besides Foggy and-

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Foggy slumped in his chair. “It’s you.  _ You’re  _ the one making my heart race.  _ You’re  _ the one I’m into. Saying I’m ‘into you’ doesn’t even come close to describing how much I care about you, Matt. I’ve been in love with you since we met.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Matt asked stupidly. 

“Which reason do you want? You’re super Catholic, really straight, not to mention my best friend. I was afraid you’d act like this, Matty.”

“Like what?” He asked, dumbfounded.  _ Foggy _ was in love with  _ him _ . 

“Like I’ve ruined everything.” Foggy’s voice was so sad, so weighted, it broke Matt out of his shocked stupor. 

“You haven’t ruined everything, Foggy. If anything, you’ve made everything better.” Matt said, happier than he had been since, well, ever. 

“What are you talking about?”

“Let’s have a redo. Tell me you love me.” 

“Why?” 

“Just do it.”

“Are you making fun of me?” 

“Foggy, I would never. Just say it, please.”

“Well, since you asked so nicely…” Foggy muttered. “Fine. Matt Murdock, I love you.” 

“Foggy Nelson, I love you too. I always have, and I always will. You’re the reason I can’t keep a relationship to save my life. I’ve loved you for over a decade, and I’ll love you for decades more.” Matt told him, a weight lifted off of his chest, smiling so hard his cheeks hurt.

“You’re not allowed to be an idiot for ten years and then do a better confession of love speech.” Foggy said softly, but not sadly. 

Matt laughed, because he felt that if he didn’t, he might start crying. “Am I allowed to kiss you now?” 

“Please.” 

They both surged forward, Matt’s hands in Foggy’s hair and Foggy’s hands on Matt’s waist. Foggy kissed like he spoke; confidently, happily, and overwhelmingly Foggy. He tasted like coffee and the blueberry muffin he had eaten for breakfast, but underneath it all, he tasted like  _ Foggy. _ His lips were soft, caring, and he smelled like home. He was everything Matt had ever dreamed and more. 

“I love you.” Matt whispered into Foggy’s lips. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Foggy whispered back, and Matt’s heart soared.

* * *

Matt lay on Foggy’s bare chest, out of breath and blissfully happy, their legs tangled underneath Foggy’s sheets. He rested his head over top of Foggy’s heart, breathing in time with his boyfriend. His  _ boyfriend _ . He didn’t think he’d ever get used to saying that, even inside his own head. 

“Hey Matty,” Foggy said, kissing the top of his head. “There’s something I still don’t quite get.” 

“What is it?” He asked, propping himself up on his elbow, looking down at Foggy. 

“How did you not realize how fast my heart beat whenever you got close to me?” 

“My inner saboteur, I guess.” He answered, frowning. “I would attribute it to other things, and never to me.”

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, you remember a couple weeks ago when you dragged me into that trendy coffee shop because you thought the barista was hot? Stuff like that. I assumed your heart was beating really fast because you were nervous to see him.” 

“Really?” Foggy laughed. “I fooled you with that? We had to go out of our way to go to that place, my heart was racing because you were holding onto my arm and I was conning you into a coffee date.” 

“What about Elena Gonzalez?” 

“What about her?” Foggy asked, voice sounding confused. 

“Whenever we were having a conversation with her your heart rate spiked. I’m assuming she was beautiful.” 

“Oh fuck I didn’t even think about that one. Matt, you idiot, I was losing it because you were  _ speaking Spanish _ . It was super hot.” Foggy told him, wiggling his eyebrows. 

“And then Marci came in that day and said something about asking someone out and your heart went insane. I thought about that conversation way more than is healthy.”

“That was terrifying. I was trying to get her out of the office before she said your name, the jig would have really been up then. Plus, you hadn’t closed the blinds into your office and you had taken off your jacket and rolled up your sleeves. I thought about  _ that  _ way more than was healthy.” Matt laughed and lay back down on top of Foggy, happy to have some semblance of understanding about their whole wild miscommunication. 

He kissed the skin overtop of Foggy’s heart, and was delighted when it started beating faster under his lips. He slid his hand across Foggy’s chest, taking his hand and kissing it, before intertwining their fingers. Foggy’s heart rate continued to climb. He lifted his head, looking Foggy in the eyes, and pulling out all the stops.

“I love you.” 

Foggy’s heartbeat skyrocketed. Thoroughly pleased with himself, he lay back overtop Foggy’s heart, falling asleep to its rhythm in the arms of the man he loved, knowing at last who Foggy’s heart truly beat for.  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! follow me on tumblr! @magikmizumono


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